I was at work once and an idiot co-worker (there are many) started to talk about how girls don't like porn because they're into "narrative" rather than "visual" stimulation. He's a pompous ass, and I've learned not to get into arguments with him because he almost enjoys saying stupid things just to get a rise out of women--I think it's his only way of getting attention. Anywho, he's going on and on about porn as if he were a professor, and I suddenly blurted out that the reason i like porn is to watch the sexy women and I wish they would cut down on the number of long close-ups of big cocks because they bored me and really seemed designed to allow for men who can't admit their homoerotic feelings to be able to jack off while looking at other men while fooling themselves into thinking they were looking at the women. Into the stunned silence I then followed with my wish that all of those bisexual men who were so closeted and ashamed of their sexual desire for other men would just watch gay porn. I was wearing my big leather jackboots and a tight wool skirt that I always feel sexy in--so when I stood up and stomped away I knew they were all staring at my sashaying ass--let them stare!

When I got home tonight from work that day, I went to my karate class, came home sweaty and horny (karate class always makes me horny), and picked through my porn dvds and picked the raunchiest German fisting film that has big breasted plump Teutonic bitches fistfucking each other and pissing in each others mouths and all over their faces and hair. I plopped my sweaty ass on my leather couch, pulled my legs up so my knees were behind my elbows, and proceeded to finger fuck myself while watching the dvd. I knew exactly the chapter I wanted to come to because I'd selected it so many times before--a scene where a big hipped brunette woman is at the doctor's office and is being examined by a big breasted blond woman who looks like she's come straight out of Nazi Germany--very severe and scary in her nurse's outfit. She lubes up her hand in a cold, uncaring way and proceeds to put two, then three, then four fingers into the patient's very hairy cunt. There's no foreplay, no cunnilingus, no kissing, only a little fondling of the brunette's breasts after the fourth finger goes in. I am keeping pace with the video and am imagining that I am the patient on the examining table, putting two, three, and then four of my own fingers inside myself at the same time as the nurse is doing it on the screen. When the nurse begins to slip her whole fist into the woman's cunt, and the woman begins to scream in ecstasy and what seems like genuine pain, I switch my imaginary perspective to that of the blond nurse, and even though I can't get my own fist inside myself (wrong angle), I imagine that I'm jackhammering my fist into the woman spread eagled on the exam table and making her come, just as I come with her, slipping back and forth in my own mind between the fister and the fistee, between the feeling of dominance and control of the the woman making the other woman come, and the woman spread open and vulnerable, giving herself up completely to this woman in uniform who is doing whatever she wants with her. I push the button on the controller with my free hand to start the scene over again and come twice more, although these two times I rub my clit instead of pounding myself to the rhythm of the scene.

Why can't girls like porn? i do, and I don't think I'm that weird (okay, I'm weird, but I'm not abnormal for liking porn...)